Mom Says: A Poem


Mom says

“You look sick, you REALLY look sick.

Maybe if you did not take all those medications

You would not be so sick.”

I am not sick because I take medications.

I take medications because I am sick.


Mom says

“So they’re going to blame ALL THAT on the environment?”

Heavy metals, toxins, pesticides, viruses and chemicals in the foods we consume.

How could these things NOT be affecting us?


Mom says

“Why is it that all you read is stuff about your physical problems?

Maybe concentrating on them to the exclusion of everything else

Could be adding to it. (Or Causing it?)”

I am not sick because of the books I read.

I read the books because I am sick.


Mom says

“Well I just think that you focus on every little pain and problem you have

And maybe if you didn’t it wouldn’t be such a problem.”

I am not sick because I think about the pain and the problems.

I think about the pain and the problems because I am sick.


Mom says

“Maybe the fact that you get angry should tell you something.”

I am not sick because I am angry.

I am angry because I am sick.


Why do you want to blame me for being sick?


© 2008 by Sherrillynn Johnson


Note: I have lived with my mom since May of 2001. I have only been able to work full time for one year out of the almost seven that I have been dependent upon her hospitality. While she doesn't always understand where I'm coming from, she always tries. The fact that she gave the OK to my putting this poem out there in the blososphere is testament to her open minded and agreeable attitude. To thank her for all she has done for me is a formidable task, and one that I don't try to do often enough! I dedicate this poem to her. Thanks Mom!!!

Comments

  1. AnonymousApril 5, 2008 at 2:39 PM

    Perfect!

    Our pain is so hard for us to bear. For the ones who love us and can't do anything to make us better, the pain must be unbearable.

    I appreciate your clarity, and your ability to recognize your mother.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SherrilApril 5, 2008 at 3:06 PM

    Thanks, Barbara. What I wanted to say came out a lot nicer in the form of a poem. First I wrote kind of like chain of consciousness free style about my feelings after the conversation that inspired the poem, then I tried to put them in haiku form. The result isn't haiku, but I'm quite pleased with it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. L'AdelaideApril 15, 2008 at 2:32 AM

    thank you thank you for your blog...I too have FM/CFS, DDD and major depressive disorder with BPD...with so many of us sharing so many similarities, you wonder why nobody is listening....btw, I loved your poem and while I don't live with my mom, these same dialogues have rung in my ears many times!

    linda

    ReplyDelete
  4. SherrilApril 15, 2008 at 8:42 AM

    Thank YOU, Linda! It's good to have some positive feedback.

    ReplyDelete

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