The ICI Experience:

A couple of blog posts ago I mentioned the results of recent MRIs of my neck and brain ( What do The Tough do when they get ANOTHER ICI diagnosis (or two*) ? ). Last month I had an appointment with a spine specialist to see what might be done about the herniated cervical disc diagnosis that was made from the MRI of my neck. This doctor seemed like a nice guy, and after about 10 minutes and $280 he had me convinced that my next step should be to have the herniated disc replaced with an artificial one. He started rattling off information after we exchanged pleasantries; lucky for me I knew to have pen and paper handy, and I can translate rattle into scribble pretty well. To his credit, he used mostly words that I could understand, or at least spell. He did a short exam on my hands and arms and said good - no loss of strength. Then he told me about something called "anterior cervical discectomy", an operation performed on the upper spine to relieve pressure on one or more ner...

Call Mom from the parking lot of the doctor's office to tell her about it and sob a bit. After all, I did hold it in until I was clear of the office out of respect for my wonderful rheumatologist, Dr. James Mossell III of Tifton, GA - we joked about what bad PR it would be for a patient to walk out through the waiting room full of patients-to-be-seen, in tears. Go to favorite Thai restaurant and order whatever I want. Go hang out in Wal-Mart for several hours. (In my defense I WAS looking at the line of Danskin workout wear; very affordable, very functional, and they remind me of my dancing days.) Get back to the car and remember it all over - and start crying again. Have the words "Thy will be done" come to me out of nowhere. Realize that in the past it's taken literally YEARS after a diagnosis for me to get to this point of acceptance. This time it took about four hours. I'm finding the cycle of acceptance to be a kind of reincarnation thin...